How to Build Hope Through Remembrance

recite-ei9qpvRemembrance is powerful! When you remember pain, loss, rejection, or hurtful words it can potentially create negativity, fear or even a depressed mood. When the pain from the past clouds your mind, you can begin to lose focus, confidence and hope for the future.

Your remembrance of the past might be the rejection you experienced from an unhealthy relationship. The parent or care taker who was or is never satisfied with your performance. The School bully’s taunting words of “ugly”, “no one likes you”, “you will never have any friends”. The adult family member or friend who took advantage of a trusting child and was abusive, sexually, mentally, emotionally and/or physically. I could go on with more examples but hopefully you understand my point.

What You Remember is a CHOICE

However, there are also great benefits to remembrance. As I sated remembrance is powerful but you can CHOOSE to remember the positive, encouraging, transforming and life-giving moments of your life. You have the CHOICE to remember what goodness God has brought into your life. You have a CHOICE to remember the precious promises of God. A God that loves you and whose love endures forever. You can CHOOSE to remember that God looks at you with eyes of LOVE. You can CHOOSE to remember all the people who have helped you along the way, impacted your life, or who inspire you to walk in your life purpose. On the other hand, you can CHOOSE to remember the people who brought you down in life, took advantage of you and prohibited your growth. If you CHOOSE this route of remembrance, the question to ask yourself is “what purpose does this serve”?

Remembrance keeps your hope alive. When you are going through a difficult time you can remind yourself of how you journeyed through difficult times before, come through the other side, and lived to tell the tale. You maybe reading this and saying “but nothing good ever happens to me”. Well I beg to differ. if you are reading this you are blessed enough to be able to read and  have access to the internet to read this blog. You are breathing, which means something good is happening to you. You CHOOSE how you view your life. Whether it is the pain of the past, the laughter in the past, the possibilities of the future, or life lessons learned; it is your CHOICE.

My Battle with Positive Remembrance

I am not writing this because I always make a CHOICE to remember the possibilities and God’s precious promises. There are times when I am in my head about POSSIBLE failures, what people might think , and worry how I can possibly make it through. Yet when I stop to remember God’s promises, such as how much he loves me, he will never leave me nor forsake, or that he protects and watches over me, I begin to move forward and keep these truths at the forefront of my mind.

I recently completed my masters. Therefore, I am no longer a full-time student and I am looking for work. I am currently working part-time and have been concerned about paying the bills, which became overwhelming. I CHOSE to remind myself that ever since I was laid off from job in December 2012 and I have not paid a bill late and have never gone a day hungry. Since December 2012 I have not earned as much income as my last full-time job. Actually, I have not held a full-time job since that time, yet God takes care of me and I to CHOOSE to remember this when I THOUGHTS of failure and defeat occur.

How to Build Hope Through Remembrance

  • I encourage you to write down all the good things that have happened in your life that brings a smile to your face, it can even just be one thing.
  • Remember a time when you were challenged and you never thought your would make it but you did. What did it take for you to make it through?
  • What are some quotes, scriptures, mantras, advice that you can focus on and remember that will keep your hope alive and focused on the endless possibilities of the future.
  • I want you to remember that you have GREAT purpose in your life and you CHOOSE what you remember.

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Embracing Being Uncomfortable in the Transition Process

Transition is a process, where there are good, bad, and questionable moments. Nonetheless, once you reach the other side of your transition, you are thankful you continued. This video is an encouragement for those who are feeling uncomfortable during their transition.

 

Thankful for Time

IMG_3110I recently graduated and completed a Masters in Professional Counseling. It was an intense two-year program, which also included an internship in the last year. It was one of the best seasons of my life and also very busy.  Now that I am winding down from my intense schedule, I currently have some extra time on my hands. At first I felt somewhat disoriented but now I am thankful for this time.

Time is precious because we can never get it back. Therefore, I am thankful to have this extra time and I plan to use it wisely. I am thankful that this time has allowed me to spend precious moments with my family when they came to visit for my graduation. I am thankful this time allows me to catch my breath and enjoy the moment. I am thankful this time allows me to refill my tank with God’s word and soak in His presence and love. I am thankful this time permits me to focus on supporting and helping others.

I am thankful that this time allows me to sit by the river and enjoy the natural beauty of God’s creation. I am thankful for the time that allows me to reflect on the past two years and adjust my goals and focus. I am thankful that I have the time to read the books that I want to read. I am thankful for the time I have to gather my thoughts, ideas, creativity and further develop myself as a counselor and prepare myself for the clients I will see.

Time is truly a gift and precious. I pray and hope that you also, continually cherish the valuable moments, your time, and the time of others because there is beauty and enjoyment in the time we have now.

Thankful for the Gift of Being Single

unnamed 3I recently read a friends Facebook post about a family member being concerned that they are a 35 single female without children. In spite of the conversation she is happy being 35 without children. I totally related to her post because I am 35 and single. I have heard it all, when are you gonna have kids, why are you single, do you want children? Do you want to be married? Don’t leave it too late etc. Whilst I know people love me and are concerned I do not agree with being with someone or having kids just because of my age! I look forward to being married and having children, but I am not willingly to settle out of fear. I think we have all experienced forcing ourselves to enjoy someone’s company when you really do not like them.

Oh did I forget to mention the biological clock and the increased risk of Down Syndrome. Whilst there may be some truth to the statistics it does not mean I should make a rushed decision about a husband and having children. You chose what you want to believe and I believe God, despite the numbers. Oh by the way, the chance of having twins is higher in older women, with or without fertility treatment.

There are many things that I  am thankful for, whilst in my single season. I thankful for the opportunity to learn about myself  and develop my self-awareness. I am thankful that I can develop my relationships with family and friends. I thankful to come home and everything is the same place I left it, that gives my slight OCD comfort lol. I am thankful for peace and quiet in my home, which is important for an introvert like me. I am thankful for the opportunity to come and go when I please. I thankful that I can focus on my relationship with God and spend more time with Him. I am thankful that I can discover what is important in a relationship. I am thankful to discover what I bring to a relationship. I am thankful for the amazing travel experiences I have had throughout the world. I am thankful for relationships with people who are married, friends and family members with children that I can learn from. I am thankful for the support from my single friends in the same position as mean who are also enjoying life.  I grateful for the various people I encounter, sitting in coffee shops alone. I am thankful that I love me and spending time with me. I am thankful that I have become comfortable in my own skin and know my worth.

To the single ladies in the this same position, you have a choice to enjoy this stage of your life or worry about when you will meet your husband. I know it is difficult when you feel pressure from, family, friends, or the media but settling will only make you unhappy. Being single is a great gift  and there are many things to enjoy. Focus on what you have not what you do not have and your view will change about this season of your life.

To those of you reading this who pressure friends or family members who are single, please give them a break and let them enjoy their life and just be the best friend or family member you can. Please stop asking them if they are in a relationship or why are they single, they will let you know when the time is right.

Thanks for your time

Love Bianca

Thankful to Walk Alongside Others

imageOver the last two days people have opened their heart and lives to me. My friends have shared their pain, joy and deepest fears. As a counseling intern I am exposed to the challenges of my client’s lives.  I am thankful for the privilege to see into the lives of others and walk alongside them. I do not take this privilege for granted and I never what to take it for granted. Thankfully I have friends and family who will let me know if I am becoming ungrateful or prideful.

I thankful for the gift God has given me to counsel and listen to the heart of others. I thankful that He trust’s me to fulfill this role. I am thankful for the opportunity to pay it forward and speak into the lives of others the same way people have spoken into my own life and supported me. I am thankful for the wisdom God has given me to listen, be present in the life of another, speak encouraging works, or ask probing questions that help people with their challenges and/or give encouragement.

I am thankful for the joy I experience sharing other people’s joy. I am thankful for ability to be moved by compassion to help someone other than myself. Life is not about what I can get from others but the love I can give to others. I am thankful to know that family, friends, clients, and sometimes strangers trust me with their life, that says a lot about the love of God that flows through me.

I challenge you to think about the lives you have helped and the people who have opened their hearts to you. This really is a  privilege not to be taken lightly. It says a lot about your character, even when you may have thought otherwise. There are times when we may think, why is this person telling me their whole life story, I know I have thought this. However, it may be because you have the wisdom, insight , patience and gift to listen and help others. These past two days have reminded me of my gift to be with people during their suffering and celebrate with them during their achievements. Whatever the situation I am thankful.

Thankful for the Power of Words

IMG_2589I thankful for the power of encouraging, life-giving words. The saying goes “sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you,” that is a lie. We remember hurtful words and we remember kind words, yet the hurtful words often over power the kind words. There are gifted people in this world today, walking around believing they are worthless, not good enough, or a failure. On the other hand, there are gifted people walking around knowing that they are loved, worthy, and significant, because of the words spoken to them and what they chose to believe.

I am thankful for encouraging words, and quotes that encourage people to overcome the lies they have been told. I thankful for people who have overcome emotional pain and written books to inspire others. I love to encourage others and I thankful for this gift. I thankful to see the face of a person light up when I give them words of encouragement or tell them how beautiful they are. I love to see a person’s demeanor soften when kind words are spoken to them. As weird as it might sound, I love to see the tears fall from a person who hears words of love for the first time because their tears mean they realize they have finally been accepted.

I thankful for websites like Pintrest where you can find thousand upon thousands of encouraging words. I thankful when I look through my Facebook or Instagram feed in the morning and people are praying for an amazing day or sharing inspiring quotes.

However, most importantly I am thankful for the Word of God, the Bible. That is life-giving to me. As a daughter of God I am reminded of His promises, His enduring love, His, protection, His guidance, His wisdom, and his special love for me. God’s word keeps me and for that I am thankful.

Being Thankful During The Cold Weather

IMG_2560This week I decided to push myself and discover how I am can be thankful when faced with things I do not enjoy or like. As a result, I challenged myself to create an attitude of gratitude towards the cold weather.

This week I decided to push myself and discover how I am can be thankful when faced with things I do not enjoy or like. As a result, I challenged myself to create an attitude of gratitude towards the cold weather.

I am thankful for the cold air that I feel when I walk outside because it means I am still alive and my sense of touch is functioning. I am thankful that I can drive in a warm car, whilst it is cold outside. I am thankful that I can walk from my car into a building or my home in less than one minute. I am thankful for the sun that still shines even though it is cold. I am thankful that my home is warm and I can sit on my sofa and enjoy tea alone or with friends.

I am thankful that I can look forward to spring within one month, the beautiful flowers that will appear and the warmer weather. I am thankful to God for a beautiful home , where I am safe, warm and fed. I am thankful for friends willing to brave the cold so we can still spend time together.

I realise that despite winter not being my favourite time of the year, I am still here to enjoy another day. Another day where I can connect with family, friends, enjoy life and share my gifts with others.

I am thankful there are 29 days until spring! 💐💐💐💐